Riding the wave of emotion...

So I am at day 4 of stimming and I think the reality is finally kicking in.

I am not feeling brave, but really scared about riding the wave of emotion and coming out on the other side with my heart in tact.

I am a thinker and a worrier, my mum always says that I come from a long line of worriers (It is true). so my mind is ticking all the time with different thoughts.

The actual treatment itself has been quite easy, the synarel headaches were great but I could definately live it again, the injections are suprisingly painfree, but the head games are what are really wearing me down at the moment.

IVF is a real hit and miss on your first cycle. You're given the standard cycle of meds and you just got to hope that your body responds well...but not too well.

Our next hurdle to get past , is Fridays Ultrasound to make sure my body is responding to the FSH, hopefully when I get there I will have the average amount of eggs growing which is a think around 6-8 per ovary so about 12-16 or so eggs. (Not too many as they worry about OHSS)

I am not sure what will happen if I have 3 or 4 eggs whether or not they progress with the treatment or if they decide to cancel it, I will just have to wait and pray that I dont have that decision to be made for me.

In all honesty I have kind of braced myself for this cycle to be a failure and if I do get pregnant well it will be absolutely fantastic, but if not I am hoping I will be prepared for it (Can you ever really be prepared for it?).