Growing up at 30, I suppose it has to be done some time right?

I am 30 years old and have issues with being alone.

It is blatently clear as I have been reduced to a sobbing mess on the news I will be by myself for a while now that Mark starts a new project on the Gold Coast and will be returning home only on the weekends.

I wonder why I feel so terrfied at the prospect of being on my own with Harry and doing it all by myself. I have always marvelled at those amazing woman who have to do it on their own, either through a broken relationship, through Work or circumstance. I have often wondered how they do it.

I am afraid of so many thing, like that I won't have the patience that I need to deal with my little man and that I won't sleep much at night listening to every little sound that I think might be something sinister.

I am sure in time I will get used to the idea, but tonight on the eve of my "aloneness" I feel pretty devastated by the thought. I really wonder how I will cope.

I am also trying my hardest not to put this on Mark as he feels bad enough as it is, he is a wonderful husband and he does have my support in this project, I just wish I could hold back these tears.

I know that at 30 it is time to grow up and be like everyone else and learn some independance, it is hard. But I am sure I will get there... I hope.