Well I had the scan this afternoon, and Baby Tucker is excellent!! I feel the weight of the world off my shoulder
We were given some pictures which I thought I would share.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
FInally up to speed today is the Day for the scan.
So here I am on Monday 16th March at 2.50pm in the afternoon.
My Viablility scan is only an hour away.
I am nervous and praying that our little baby has a heartbeat (please god), I have been very sick over the last few weeks with all day sickness and fatigue today I have not had any but am wondering if it is the nerves that I making me feel like this.
I will update you all when I get back this evening.
Wish us luck...
My Viablility scan is only an hour away.
I am nervous and praying that our little baby has a heartbeat (please god), I have been very sick over the last few weeks with all day sickness and fatigue today I have not had any but am wondering if it is the nerves that I making me feel like this.
I will update you all when I get back this evening.
Wish us luck...
Waiting for the Viability Scan & a very sad day
On my Egg Transfer on 2nd Feb, I made an appointment for March 6th that would either be our "where to from here with the IVF treatment" or my first Obstetric appointment with Dr. S.
I was counting the days until March 6th to see our precious baby.
On Monday March 2nd, I got a phone call in the evening from my best friend Deb, Ali she said to me with a tear strained voice "Dad passed away this afternoon". I sobbed for her and her beautiful family, my heart was broken for them. I knew the pain all too well of loosing a parent, My father passed away when I was 11 years old and til this day my heart aches for him.
I knew that I needed to be there for her and the family on his funeral. On Tuesday afternoon I receieved a message saying that the Funeral would be on Friday 6th March at 10.30am.
So I phoned and cancelled the scan and it was rescheduled to today.
Being in NSW for the Funeral was gut wrenchingly hard, this was a beautiful family, who did not deserve this. Their love for one another was genuine and they were one of the special families that were close, why do the good die young?
His funeral was beautiful and emotional, it moved even Mark to tears who just does not cry. It was a beautiful Tribute to a beautiful man, who the world is a much sadder place for he is not longer in it, but heaven has become much brighter for he is there in heaven. R.I.P Mr Clucas.
I was counting the days until March 6th to see our precious baby.
On Monday March 2nd, I got a phone call in the evening from my best friend Deb, Ali she said to me with a tear strained voice "Dad passed away this afternoon". I sobbed for her and her beautiful family, my heart was broken for them. I knew the pain all too well of loosing a parent, My father passed away when I was 11 years old and til this day my heart aches for him.
I knew that I needed to be there for her and the family on his funeral. On Tuesday afternoon I receieved a message saying that the Funeral would be on Friday 6th March at 10.30am.
So I phoned and cancelled the scan and it was rescheduled to today.
Being in NSW for the Funeral was gut wrenchingly hard, this was a beautiful family, who did not deserve this. Their love for one another was genuine and they were one of the special families that were close, why do the good die young?
His funeral was beautiful and emotional, it moved even Mark to tears who just does not cry. It was a beautiful Tribute to a beautiful man, who the world is a much sadder place for he is not longer in it, but heaven has become much brighter for he is there in heaven. R.I.P Mr Clucas.
I wanted the test out of the house to avoid temptation.
The reason I decided to do the test was basically, I told myself was so that I could stop thinking about it and wait until Thursday when I had my Blood test done.
I reasoned with myself that it would be way too early for anything to be picked up on the HTP and that I would be more sane if I knew I had no temptation in the house.
So I went to the cupboard and I got the test. I did it and I waited....after about 30 seconds there was nothing at all, not control line no nothing and my heart started to sink, the test was a dud, but as I took a second look about 20 seconds later I noticed the control line, so I waited.
After about the two minute mark, I started to Hyperventilate as I saw the unbelieveable. A SECOND LINE...COULD IT BE I WAS ACTUALLY PREGNANT, It was way too early to tell.
I couldn't think straight, I could barely breath, my hand went numb and started shaking, I was officially a stummed mullet. I started to cry.
Mark was at work that day and he rang me, to say he would be home in 30 mins, I said no trouble, I was stammering out my words, he asked if I was OK to which I replied I am fine but has better go.
A whole heap of Guilt rushed through, Should I have waited, what do I tell him? Do I tell him? Can I keep it a secret? Too many decision and my brain was fried.
I decided it wasn't fair to keep it from him, I waited patiently for him to arrive home. He did Finally after what felt like an eternity. He pulled in the driveway and I greeted him.
He looked me my tear stained eyes and he looked panicked. I wrapped my arms around him and cried, he asked me what was wrong, Without saying anything, I took him by the hand and I lead him to the Bathroom and told him to look.
He stood there for a minute as was very quiet, He turned to me and smiled... BUT I TOLD YOU not to test.
I felt mildly deflated, I said I am so sorry I did it to get it out of the house, not to think I was actually pregnant and it showed up, Are you angry i asked him?
No I am so excited, but it is so early and I wont get my hopes up until they confirm it for us. So I said it is going to be a long wait, but hopefully it was all good for here on in.
TO cut a long story short, Thursday rolled around and after a very unpleasant blood test, I phoned in the afternoon to have it confirmed, we are expecting our second child, on Oct 21st.
We are overjoyed and elated and we can't wait to meet our little one.
LET THE HEAD GAMES BEGIN
The first few days of the Two week wait (2ww) I was fine, just sorta hanging out, not really thinkng too much about it. The Transfer was done on the Monday morning and by Thursday (One week from testing) the head games began.
My chest was sore and I was cramping up and I had an array of IPS (Imaginary Pregnancy Symptoms) that were starting to take their toll. Could I hold out for a whole other week.
I kept myself convinced that all the symptoms were from the Crinone (Progesterone Support) and I ticked over for a few more days.
I kept trying not to get too far ahead of myself thinking of the weather in Oct (which would be my due date) and how close this baby would be born to my beloved Gran who will hopefully be 94 this October.
I needed to come back to earth, I knew I had one First Response Test in the cupboard from about 4 months earlier should I or shouldn't I take the test.
Mark wanted me to wait but I didn't think I could. The head games were getting too strong I needed to know, I needed to prepare myself either way, especially in the case of a failed cycle.
My chest was sore and I was cramping up and I had an array of IPS (Imaginary Pregnancy Symptoms) that were starting to take their toll. Could I hold out for a whole other week.
I kept myself convinced that all the symptoms were from the Crinone (Progesterone Support) and I ticked over for a few more days.
I kept trying not to get too far ahead of myself thinking of the weather in Oct (which would be my due date) and how close this baby would be born to my beloved Gran who will hopefully be 94 this October.
I needed to come back to earth, I knew I had one First Response Test in the cupboard from about 4 months earlier should I or shouldn't I take the test.
Mark wanted me to wait but I didn't think I could. The head games were getting too strong I needed to know, I needed to prepare myself either way, especially in the case of a failed cycle.
A possible Hurdle that might hold us up!
Dr Stokes asked me to book an appointment for the 1st Feb, as he found a problem with my Cervix while I was under the General.
He said depending what he found on my scan on the 1st I may not be able to get to Egg Transfer and all surving Embryo's would be Frozen and a transfer done in April. I was nervous about how I would take the news if it was delayed.
So I went in for my scan on the 1st and fortunatley all was good. but he still wasn't convinced that I would make Transfer I needed to see him again on the 2nd in the morning and if all was OK trasnfer would take place on the 2/052/09 at 12.15pm.
I was to start Crinone (Progesterone Support) that night ahead of the possible Egg Transfer. Mark took the day off and we arrived at the Clinic at 10.00 for the scan we were both nervous.
This was the first scan that Mark had attended and he found it to be pretty full on, anyway all was good and the transfer could go ahead.
Then the suprise came. He looked at me and said dont get down just yet, What time was transferred schedule for? We might as well do it now and get it over with. OMG!
So I lay there Pantless, but covered by the green sheet and waited while Dr S. asked the Embryologist if our little Embie was ready for transfer. He replied Give me 15 and it will be, so we waited.
Dr. S explained that Dr. J (The EMbyologist) would take a photo of our day 5 Blastocyst and then it would be placed in a long catherter and placed in the uterus.
He went to work placing the speculum in place and preparing the area. I was tilted pretty far back and a spot light placed on the "Area". OH CRAP, How humiliating...Go to a better place Alison.
Dr S. Worked away on my for what felt like forever, he said I had Cervical Stenosis and they he needed to correct it prior to transfer. The Embryologist came through with our little one in a tube and then it was placed in my uterus.
I didn't feel it, the most uncomfortable it felt was like a Papsmear I would say, but the hardest part was being exposed for about 25mins solid.
But it was Over and we had a bub on board. YAY, WOOOOHOOOOO!!
Dr J. Met us after about 15 mins when I was up and around and dressed again and ran us through the details of the Embryo and give us our first ever photo, he said it was a perfect looking Embryo and that our chances of success were like flipping a coin. He also said that of the 14 Embryos that fertilised 5 definately made it to Blastocyst and so there were 4 left for Freezing and that there may be a possibility for more, so ring him tomorrow to see what happens.
After the transfer Mark and I felt elated, this was our first real shot in years to have a baby, a Aibling for our little man, We were elated and terrified.
LET THE MIND GAMES BEGIN!!!!
POST EPU AND FERTILISATION RATES & Harry's First day of Big School
That night I felt nauseous after the surgury so I just took it easy, I had no real discomfort at all.
The next morning, I awoke, I was feeling a little strange from the General. It was a momentus day in the Tucker family. It was Harrys first day of school and we would also find out our fertilisation rates after 2.00pm.
We got Harry ready for School. She looked so grown up and Mark & I took him down. I was very proud of myself as I didn't cry, the one thing I was certain that I would have done, but I didn't.
We left our baby on his new journey and Mark took me home. I crawled back into bed and he went to work for a few hours.
I phoned the c0linic at 2.30pm that afternoon before we left to get Harry from School, a miracle had Occured. 100% fertilisation! All 14 had made it through the night!!! We were delighted.
We picked Harry up from school and we were so happy that all was OK.
Waking up on the other side
Waking up after Egg Collection was strange. I felt nothing, no discomfort just a little groggy. Having an Oxygen Mask on my face and hearing the heart monitor beeping away.
I remembered looking down at my hand to see if there was a number written on it representing the number of eggs collected, but there wasn't. OH NO! My heart sank.
Pretty soon a nurse came over and asked how I was and I said I felt really good, She asked if I was in any discomfort to which I said no and I lay there for a while. I asked her how many eggs were collected on her second time back to which she looked at my chart and replied 14. I was wrapped.
After about an hour of laying there, Dr stokes came through and he said, we got 14 from you which is wonderful, I also had to do another proceedure on you while under, so you were under for a fair while longer than anticipated. But all went well.
Another hour or so passed and the machines were switched off the oxygen came off and I was told I could very slowly get dressed. YAY CLothed again! Woohooooo!
They rang mark to tell him he could collect me at 6.30pm but he was already waiting in the carpark so they allowed him in, they came me a cup of tea and some Jatz crackers.
Mark and Harry came in with a bunch of flowers (Bless) and they both gave me big cuddles. He was also thrilled to hear 14 eggs were collected.
After an hour they let us go home. THANK GOODNESS IT WAS OVER. I felt the weight of the world off my shoulders.
Now to the next hurdle of Fertilisation Rates.
I remembered looking down at my hand to see if there was a number written on it representing the number of eggs collected, but there wasn't. OH NO! My heart sank.
Pretty soon a nurse came over and asked how I was and I said I felt really good, She asked if I was in any discomfort to which I said no and I lay there for a while. I asked her how many eggs were collected on her second time back to which she looked at my chart and replied 14. I was wrapped.
After about an hour of laying there, Dr stokes came through and he said, we got 14 from you which is wonderful, I also had to do another proceedure on you while under, so you were under for a fair while longer than anticipated. But all went well.
Another hour or so passed and the machines were switched off the oxygen came off and I was told I could very slowly get dressed. YAY CLothed again! Woohooooo!
They rang mark to tell him he could collect me at 6.30pm but he was already waiting in the carpark so they allowed him in, they came me a cup of tea and some Jatz crackers.
Mark and Harry came in with a bunch of flowers (Bless) and they both gave me big cuddles. He was also thrilled to hear 14 eggs were collected.
After an hour they let us go home. THANK GOODNESS IT WAS OVER. I felt the weight of the world off my shoulders.
Now to the next hurdle of Fertilisation Rates.
The Day of Egg Collection...The single most dreaded day so far.
Tuesday Dragged but it was finally over. I made sure that Harry was ready for his first day of Big School which through some small miracle had been pushed back to 29th Jan. The school decided to split the prep classes into two groups.
One would go on Wednesday 28th and the Other on Thursday 29th and then they would all attend on the 30th together. So in that Miracle my egg collection was the day before he went to school.
I don't really recall much about the day of collection it is all a blur now.
I remember Mark needed to make his "deposit" to the Clinic and they said anytime between 8.30 and 1.00pm they needed his end of the deal. So the pressure was off in a small way as he was terrfied that he would have to provide the sample himself.
So that morning he did his part and he dropped it off to the Clinic at 9.30am. We just hung out as a family, not doing much as I couldn't eat or drink anything from 7.00am so I got up at 6.30 and had some Toast and a cup of Tea.
I showered at midday and by 12.30 Mark, Harry and I were on our way to the Day Surgury. Waiting to be admitted was agonising and I kept asking Mark to take Harry as having them both there made me feel a little emotional, He wouldn't leave until they called me through. Normally the Husband could scrub in for the surgury but because we had Harry I had to do it alone, which in hindsight was a lot better for me, becuase I could just sit quietly and freak out to myself. I couldn't talk about my fears to anyone.
They called me through and the first thing they made me so was strip off completely and double gown up. AWESOME i thought to myself as if it isn't humiliating enough!!
I sat around and waited feeling sick with fear, I sat with my gowns and attractive hat waiting to been seen by someone, stressing out about the Drip and the known pain it was abou to cause me. Last time I had a Drip it was complete Agony and it took them 6 times to get the line in.
The Anethetist called me in, and I told him I didnt know if I wanted to go completely under and he told me that he would chat to my Dr about it. and after he assesed me I went and sat back down in the waiting room.
There was a lovely old chap opposite me, who from what I gathered was having his eyes done as the nurse kept coming and putting an ointment in his eyes. He was worried too. I had a little chuckle to myself as we were both doing the exact same thing. Sitting with our hands clasped in our laps and bouncing our feet in nervous tension.
I looked at him and smile and he smiled back, but we were both too nervous to talk.
He was led through first and I was taken through about 10 mins later. When the nurse collected me, she said. Oh My this is your first time isnt it. I said yes how can you tell, she laughed and said. You look Terrfied... I was.
I watched in fear as the man next to me went under the GA and they incubated him...I thought of running for a split second and then the Anethetist saw me look in horror and apologised and closed the curtain.
It was my turn...the anthetist came and got the stuff ready for the drip, he told me that the Dr wanted me under the General as I had too many eggs to collect, I said OK I don't want to know what is going on.
The drip was surpising painless. It ached a little after about 30 seconds but I didn't really feel it go it...what a relief. He told me to go and empty my bladder and come back.
So I did. On the way back I was intersected by a Dr who said I had to come back in the other direction as they were going something not nice to another patient to which I said thanks, I have already seen it once today by accident and didn't want to see it again.
Dr Stoked called me over and my stomach freaked out, but when I saw him, I felt strangley calm. We chatted about a few things and he reassured me all would be OK. He put his hand on my Shoulder and said "Lets go get some Eggs". I climbed up on the table in the operating theatre as they took off one of my robes. Oh crap thank God I am out to it.
One would go on Wednesday 28th and the Other on Thursday 29th and then they would all attend on the 30th together. So in that Miracle my egg collection was the day before he went to school.
I don't really recall much about the day of collection it is all a blur now.
I remember Mark needed to make his "deposit" to the Clinic and they said anytime between 8.30 and 1.00pm they needed his end of the deal. So the pressure was off in a small way as he was terrfied that he would have to provide the sample himself.
So that morning he did his part and he dropped it off to the Clinic at 9.30am. We just hung out as a family, not doing much as I couldn't eat or drink anything from 7.00am so I got up at 6.30 and had some Toast and a cup of Tea.
I showered at midday and by 12.30 Mark, Harry and I were on our way to the Day Surgury. Waiting to be admitted was agonising and I kept asking Mark to take Harry as having them both there made me feel a little emotional, He wouldn't leave until they called me through. Normally the Husband could scrub in for the surgury but because we had Harry I had to do it alone, which in hindsight was a lot better for me, becuase I could just sit quietly and freak out to myself. I couldn't talk about my fears to anyone.
They called me through and the first thing they made me so was strip off completely and double gown up. AWESOME i thought to myself as if it isn't humiliating enough!!
I sat around and waited feeling sick with fear, I sat with my gowns and attractive hat waiting to been seen by someone, stressing out about the Drip and the known pain it was abou to cause me. Last time I had a Drip it was complete Agony and it took them 6 times to get the line in.
The Anethetist called me in, and I told him I didnt know if I wanted to go completely under and he told me that he would chat to my Dr about it. and after he assesed me I went and sat back down in the waiting room.
There was a lovely old chap opposite me, who from what I gathered was having his eyes done as the nurse kept coming and putting an ointment in his eyes. He was worried too. I had a little chuckle to myself as we were both doing the exact same thing. Sitting with our hands clasped in our laps and bouncing our feet in nervous tension.
I looked at him and smile and he smiled back, but we were both too nervous to talk.
He was led through first and I was taken through about 10 mins later. When the nurse collected me, she said. Oh My this is your first time isnt it. I said yes how can you tell, she laughed and said. You look Terrfied... I was.
I watched in fear as the man next to me went under the GA and they incubated him...I thought of running for a split second and then the Anethetist saw me look in horror and apologised and closed the curtain.
It was my turn...the anthetist came and got the stuff ready for the drip, he told me that the Dr wanted me under the General as I had too many eggs to collect, I said OK I don't want to know what is going on.
The drip was surpising painless. It ached a little after about 30 seconds but I didn't really feel it go it...what a relief. He told me to go and empty my bladder and come back.
So I did. On the way back I was intersected by a Dr who said I had to come back in the other direction as they were going something not nice to another patient to which I said thanks, I have already seen it once today by accident and didn't want to see it again.
Dr Stoked called me over and my stomach freaked out, but when I saw him, I felt strangley calm. We chatted about a few things and he reassured me all would be OK. He put his hand on my Shoulder and said "Lets go get some Eggs". I climbed up on the table in the operating theatre as they took off one of my robes. Oh crap thank God I am out to it.
The Trigger Injection and the Egg Collection
So I was taken into another room with the Nurse who presented me with an Injection. This is your Trigger injection. Ovidrel. This needs to be done EXACTLY 36½ hours prior to your scheduled collection on Wednesday.
So that means you will be setting your alarm on Tuesday morning and your trigger will need to be done at exactly 2.45am. She said to me. "I can't stress to you enough that this needs to be done at the exact time of 2.45, otherwise everything you have just been through will be for nothing".
I gulped and Nodded.
I was to continue on My Synarel for that evening and the following day of Injection and the Synarel both AM & PM then after the trigger on Tuesday morning at 2.45 al medications would stop.
I was really nervous about the trigger as I had been told it was a Stinger so I was very nervous but the girls on EB were wonderful and gave me some pointers about laying down and not moving for about 15 mins after the injection to lessen the pain.
So Monday night I set my alarm for 2.30am and I couldn't sleep, I was terrified about sleeping through and ruining it all.
I watched the clock tick over to 2.30am and I got up and shuffled around for a while. I grabbed the Ovidrel injection and the alcohol swabs and headed back to the bedroom.
Mark was up and washing his hands ready in preparation and I lay on the bed and watched the clock tick over until it reached 2.45am on the 27th January...It was time.
Mark looked at me and said "OK here goes" and I felt a very very minor sting but nothing like I was expecting over the next 20 or so seconds he pushed the liquid into my stomach that was going to ripen the precious follicles I had been growing over the last 12 days and now it was over.
I felt weird know what lay head in 36½ hours and I wondered how I would cope.
So that means you will be setting your alarm on Tuesday morning and your trigger will need to be done at exactly 2.45am. She said to me. "I can't stress to you enough that this needs to be done at the exact time of 2.45, otherwise everything you have just been through will be for nothing".
I gulped and Nodded.
I was to continue on My Synarel for that evening and the following day of Injection and the Synarel both AM & PM then after the trigger on Tuesday morning at 2.45 al medications would stop.
I was really nervous about the trigger as I had been told it was a Stinger so I was very nervous but the girls on EB were wonderful and gave me some pointers about laying down and not moving for about 15 mins after the injection to lessen the pain.
So Monday night I set my alarm for 2.30am and I couldn't sleep, I was terrified about sleeping through and ruining it all.
I watched the clock tick over to 2.30am and I got up and shuffled around for a while. I grabbed the Ovidrel injection and the alcohol swabs and headed back to the bedroom.
Mark was up and washing his hands ready in preparation and I lay on the bed and watched the clock tick over until it reached 2.45am on the 27th January...It was time.
Mark looked at me and said "OK here goes" and I felt a very very minor sting but nothing like I was expecting over the next 20 or so seconds he pushed the liquid into my stomach that was going to ripen the precious follicles I had been growing over the last 12 days and now it was over.
I felt weird know what lay head in 36½ hours and I wondered how I would cope.
A long time between visits
Well we are now in March and I am on the other side of my IVF Treatment...and I am happy to annouce that I am 8 weeks and 5 days pregnant. Phew what a relief.
Before I get to my pregnancy I will try to recap on my IVF journey.
The first scan was done on the Friday before Australia Day and I was terribly nervous, stressed about how my bpdy had responded to the injections. I remember I wasn't really feeling too much in the way of bloating and discomfort which is a common sign of a good response so I will really nervous, but deep down inside I thought it should all be OK.
So It was scan time, the scan reveal a wonderful response. I had about 16 Follicles Growing away at that stage and the Dr was very happy with that.
He told me to keep doing what I was doing that that he would like to see me on the Monday, Australia Day Public Holiday (No the man never sleeps) from there I would find out about a pick up day...Uh Oh the dreaded Egg Collection surgury.
So Australia Day came and I rocked up to my appointment, Mark had Harry (Who was only a few days shy of starting Big School for the first time, in the park across the street from the Clinic. I was pleasantly surprised to See Dr. S in his Boardies and T-Shirt and the Nurse in her jeans and shirt. I immediately relaxed. Given the predicament I was about to be in it was a nice little surprise.
So I stripped off and hopped up on the table with my Dignity on display and he handed me a note pad and said, as I call out numbers can you write them down for me? Which was fine. However it made my plan of transporting to a deserted Island a little difficult. The scan revealed I had 14 excellent Follicles growing away, so after I was dressed he sat me down and said. OK I will do your collection Surgury on Wednesday 28th Jan, the the Nurse and she will follow you through the instructions on what you need to do for now... GULP!!!
Before I get to my pregnancy I will try to recap on my IVF journey.
The first scan was done on the Friday before Australia Day and I was terribly nervous, stressed about how my bpdy had responded to the injections. I remember I wasn't really feeling too much in the way of bloating and discomfort which is a common sign of a good response so I will really nervous, but deep down inside I thought it should all be OK.
So It was scan time, the scan reveal a wonderful response. I had about 16 Follicles Growing away at that stage and the Dr was very happy with that.
He told me to keep doing what I was doing that that he would like to see me on the Monday, Australia Day Public Holiday (No the man never sleeps) from there I would find out about a pick up day...Uh Oh the dreaded Egg Collection surgury.
So Australia Day came and I rocked up to my appointment, Mark had Harry (Who was only a few days shy of starting Big School for the first time, in the park across the street from the Clinic. I was pleasantly surprised to See Dr. S in his Boardies and T-Shirt and the Nurse in her jeans and shirt. I immediately relaxed. Given the predicament I was about to be in it was a nice little surprise.
So I stripped off and hopped up on the table with my Dignity on display and he handed me a note pad and said, as I call out numbers can you write them down for me? Which was fine. However it made my plan of transporting to a deserted Island a little difficult. The scan revealed I had 14 excellent Follicles growing away, so after I was dressed he sat me down and said. OK I will do your collection Surgury on Wednesday 28th Jan, the the Nurse and she will follow you through the instructions on what you need to do for now... GULP!!!
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